Make ripples, not waves – Confronting and clearing out old habits
February marks the nearing end of the Canadian winter season. I’m not a huge winter fan, but something about this weather calls me to reflect on my next steps toward obtaining the life I want. Questions start to formulate in my mind, like how can I focus on my goals and make them happen? What do I need to do to prepare for the upcoming months? Will I ever have some quiet time (for myself) as a parent of two young and vibrant children?
When I became a healing practitioner, I had to confront my inner self-critic and let her know that change was happening. For so long, I had been following a path where I avoided taking risks out of fear that I wouldn’t succeed or that I wasn’t good enough. Whenever I wanted to excel at something, I would end up sabotaging myself—thanks to my inner critic—and I remained stuck in a cycle of no change. I made myself available for everyone else but neglected my own needs. It took me over three decades (not counting my toddler and baby years) to confront the part of myself that consistently held me back.
Now is the perfect opportunity to start confronting your inner critic and take a moment to connect with them. Get curious, ask questions, and journal if you need to. The purpose is to bring to the surface why you haven’t made the changes that you wanted to make to level up your life. What is it that is missing for you to start on the path of living your purpose? How can you quiet down your inner duality and break free of the habits that make you feel trapped? I’m not asking you to produce a novel of the whys (totally up to you if you want), but I want you to start to make that connection so that it no longer holds space within you, and you can start to dissolve the issues bit by bit. Like the trail of those coloured plastic bricks, my daughter leaves on the floor for me to step on.
There is a lot of information on how to achieve your goals, and meditation videos on getting rid of negative thoughts and being more confident. While these tools are readily available, they will not help you unless the work from within is done. You have to be in the mindset of wanting this change. I know because I’ve had many tries on a few different projects, and nothing seems to stick. It was when I was really motivated to change that things shifted for me. I was more determined than ever to create the life I wanted.
As a busy mom who is sleep-deprived, telling me to add visualizing the life I want to my endless list of to-do’s is not an easy task, but it is not impossible. I have to remember that this is not a race or a competition. This is my life, so I had better do what I could to make the change I needed to succeed and live a balanced and happy life. Interestingly enough, I didn’t realize that opportunities presented themselves to me once I did that minor mind shift. My family and friends cheered me on. It was like, why didn’t I start this journey years ago? But years ago, I was not in the mindset that I needed to be to decide on the change that I wanted.
The idea here is to make small ripples rather than big waves. Steadfastly diving in with going after what you want might seem like a great start, but after a while, the momentum is exerted, and now you’re back to your old habit. Your inner self-critic will have a grand ol’ time reminding you that your idea of change was terrible and that you should stick with what you know and be grateful for it.
While gratitude for what you already have is a positive act in this case, it comes from a place of hindrance and fear, where you cannot think that you can achieve the impossible to better your life. Taking it slow is a key step to appreciating each step you are making toward the life you desire and the positive transformation waiting to take shape.
Making such incremental steps toward a positive life is a great way to teach yourself that you don’t always need to make waves to get results. Being gentle with yourself and nurturing the part of you that needs to feel confident and empowered can have an everlasting effect. This is about your healing, expanding, and growth, and you plan on doing it the way you know is best for you. The way that you believe works to help lift you and bring you balance and joy in everything you do will be the one that will have a long-lasting positive effect on your life.
This is a broken record statement, but I feel like I need to say it again to echo those who have said it before me: We all have our path to lead, and we must make an effort to make this change with intention and live our purpose on purpose (ok I don’t know who else said it like that but this my take on “we have a path that we are on and we have free will etc.”).
In essence, you must do you boo. No body can do it like you. You are a unique individual connected to all that is, and you decide how you want this path to be for you while you are here on this earth. Take the time you need to begin your path and let your inner self-critic take a back seat, back, wayyyyy back. It all starts with a choice, and that choice will determine the rest of the steps you take.
